saosinsean's Journal

11:15am: one day
I'll look back on it all one day and really understand something, today is not that day.

I miss my cat, and my life. I'm more ready than ever.

11:02pm: am i moving forward
or back

i can't tell sometimes, i know when i'm not happy and that time is now.

2:03am: i go to college soon.

i'm going to be the best guitarist ever, don't you forget it!

1:17pm: Christmas really is an amazing time of year.

Just the way people treat each other, I wish it was Christmas year round.

On another note I would like to say that I am, right now, pretty content with how things are. I've been able to write some really interesting music which hopefully I will be preforming with a new band in the works scheduled to be out 2007. I'm almost done with recording school which I am really looking forward to finishing.

I also want to take this time to say that the Nintendo Wii is quite possibly the greatest video game system ever.

-----

ohh yeah.....



I'd like a girlfriend sometime soon.

9:06am: Starting up my buisness

school ends in three months or so

9:36am: d:r show tomorrow.

thrice on the 12th and emery on the 22nd(i think)


how exciting

12:58am: umm
remember when LJ was the talk to the town? LOLZ

12:44am: college tomorrow

3:06am: helir im; gfirnl

4:46pm: I'm really fed up with everything and everyone.

1:42am: something is wrong when music becomes numb to me.

1:25am: i dont have a job
and my truck is fucked up
everyone kinda dissapears after awhile
i have alot of phone numbers in my phone
noone i can call really
but i'm okay with it i guess maybe
i need to make more money
to move out
college anyone?

11:24pm: Ready, set......

CHANGE

ok, not the easiest thing in the world....

3:59pm: Strange how things are now.

7:52pm: the curse strikes late this year.

4:43am: where did i go?

4:59pm: I want to start a new life and leave everything behind. I want to meet everyone for the first time and have the most insane experiences again and again.

I don't even want to think about graduating or turning 18.

11:34am: </onlinepoker> I seriously suck at gambling.

2:33am: hmm
I really miss my brother and sister.

12:06am: I don't think I grasp a true concept of time.

Integrity is lost over time. So is ambition. I'm wasting time. Right now. I'm typing. You're reading.

I don't want anything to distract my time. I can't own anything except my time. Life is just an exchange of time and the diffrent things that come of it.

There's life.

Still don't get time though.

</idea>

12:06am: uhhh

hey whats up

11:57pm: I'm moving very soon.

Which is a change. I will very much welcome a change.

I think I've forgotten how to hang out with people. All I do is work and school. I'd like to call my friends but I don't like how the gap of time I've spent away from everyone affects friendships. Usually I cause the gap but it's always good to hear when someone misses hanging out with me. It makes me remember things I have trouble recalling.

I have a problem lying to people about the most mundane details in life. It's like it wouldn't matter if I said the truth and their opinion of me would not change whatsoever. It's my opinion of myself and how I struggle to try to keep my facts from my lies.

I can't write music at all lately. I don't even put effort into what I write. And I feel so wastefull. Music used to flow so easily through me.

I need awhile to collect my thoughts.

3:01pm: I talked myself into doing something I didn't want to do and now I regret it.

5:00pm: I just don't get it. No matter how many ways I look at it it's all the same. Don't actaully know what I'm talking about. Maybe I'm talking about everything at once? Could I be more vague?

I get too lost in myself sometimes.

ohh well.

Does anyone know any single ladies =|?

12:04am: OUCH!!!

Okay, need to change that, constructive citicism.... I guess you could say.

hahaha I thought it was neat.

anyway........

Well it's officially christmas as of now. I was at my grandparent's house as usuall for Christmas eve dinner. I find that being with your family is always very familiar...which is good and bad...tonight it was good.

On the car ride home I couldn't stop thinking. Alot about music and where I want to go in my life. I always have these great dreams of the rest of my life. Sometimes they drastically differ from dream to dream, but it all makes sense to me.

I wish I was still a kid. Just not have to worry about so many things. I feel so old. Just like...I want to be excited for tommorrow morning but it's so hard. Christmas isn't the same. I just want to get some teenage mutant ninja turtles and a couple video games and be happy. Oh well.

Not alot of people know me very well.

I'd like to get to know everyone better.

Just a few thought for christmas...Merry Christmas everyone!